Ever Wanted to Write (& Publish) a Book?

Yup, my all-time favourite writer did it again.  Chris Guillebeau offers a (huge) Guide on how to get published.

Well, it’s wrong of me to place all credit on Chris.  Actually, his agent, it’s Chris’ agent, David Fugate who wrote the guide.

Who is David Fugate?

David Fugate founded the LaunchBooks Literary Agency, and has personally represented over 1000 books himself as agent to around 40 publishers (Wiley, Random House, McGraw-Hill, and Perigee are some of the biggest).  Books he represented include Kevin Mitnick’s Art of Deception and Art of Intrusion, two books I read after meeting Mitnick while working for HP.

As Chris tells the story, he asked his agent David Fugate to share some tips on how to get published.  Instead, David poured his over-experienced heart out to make this 45,000-word book.

If you are one of those people who ever wanted to get published, this guide can save you tons of effort and money by leveraging David’s experience.

Surest Way (But Not Easiest) to Success

The easiest way is to do nothing.  Kinda like I’ve been doing.  I have wanted to write a book for as long as I can remember, …but haven’t started.  ”That’d be cool.” but I don’t start.

Chris shared this guide with me to review and I find it absolutely incredibly helpful, obviously a product of many years’ experience.

If I’m serious about getting published, there’s no excuse except my own fear of failing.  And with this guide, I don’t believe anyone can fail.

Check it out here:

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Reason 4: Patriotism

I hear you…”Wait, Jeff, patriotism?  Seriously?  How can you call someone wanting to leave…a patriot?”

To answer, I remind you that around 250 years ago, when families were so frustrated by their country’s tyranny (England), whose ancestors had fled, they chose to struggle in a new country (United States)?  They desired a free life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Today, we call those people our founding fathers, our country’s first and original patriots.  (Happy 4th of July today, in fact!)

Yes, I do consider someone who believes strongly in personal freedoms as a patriot.

It’s Not Your Fault if You’re Blindly Patriotic

Don’t take it personally, but if you believe the United States is strong or “going well,” that’s not patriotism.  Blind belief in the government does not make one a patriot.  It never has.  A patriot thinks for his or herself.  A patriot questions authority.  Patriotism is not blind faith in a government.

No worries, it’s not your fault.  It’s just a matter of timing.  Not so long ago, the US encouraged freedoms and liberty -even proudly founded herself upon them.  Today, however, we have the Patriot Act (wiki and critique) which goes way beyond discouraging liberty.

Benjamin Franklin, a Domestic Terrorist?

Before you start whistling the Star Spangled Banner, be careful.  The patriot of yesteryear is now a potential bad guy for the US government today.

In fact, if Thomas Jefferson or Benjamin Franklin were around and talking today, they would be jailed as domestic terrorists.

The Department of Homeland Security labels someone a domestic terrorist when they …:

• make “expressions of libertarian philosophies.”
• express “fears of Big Brother or big government.”
• “declare Constitutional rights and civil liberties.”
• exercise self-sufficiency (stockpiling food, ammo, hand tools, medical supplies)
• homeschool (if you teach your kids outside the Dept of Education’s curriculum)
• buy certain books (in fact, these two by name: One Second After and Patriots: Surviving the Coming Collapse

(source for these here)

Question: if I publish the above, should I fear any consequences?  Sure, I don’t picket in front of the white house, but here I am, suggesting you abandon the US for reasons above.  Does that alone make me a target?  Take the case of Susan Lindauer, a well-connected, productive and intelligent woman who voiced her concerns too loudly against the US govt.  Her world got spun around so fast it made me sick to my stomach.

Okay, So How Do I Protest As a “Patriot”?

1. Leave.

Leave now.  Cash out your chips like you’re leaving the casino.  Sell your home, your securities (funds, stocks, options) and cash out your pensions.  Take the money and run.  Run like the wind.

2. Reinvest.

Decide on a new place that more suits you and your patriotic needs.  When you (and your cash) land in a safer, freer, more stable country, then the patriotic thing to do is reinvest in that country, for yourself.  Purchase property and/or a business there.  A new life requires new equity and new income.

3. Protect Yourself (at tax time).

US citizens must file a tax return every year.  And that goes for US citizens living abroad, too.

Yes, when living abroad, working abroad, even if earning zero US income, you must still file a US tax return every year, plus a couple extra forms just for expats (more on those below).  Yeah, I think it’s bullshit, too.

BS or not, US citizens are required to report their worldwide income, regardless of residency. You know what?  To my knowledge, the United States is the only country that requires this of its citizens.  Write me if you believe otherwise and we’ll talk.

p.s. Two Extra Forms at Tax Time (for US citizen expats)

I’ve written about tax time before, but these 2 forms are too important to ignore: the 2555 and the FBAR.  Filing out those extra forms isn’t optional.

Yes, the Internal Revenue Service tries hard to persuade any US citizen against living abroad.  Well, as a patriot, you don’t care what the IRS is against.  Right Benjamin?

The 2555 is the “Foreign Earned Income” form, which basically says you can earn up to $92,000 tax free (for 2010).  (Remember: Even if you earn under $92,000, you must still fill out this form to say you did.  In short, you must file, even if you simply didn’t earn anything or owe anything – that’s the IRS for you.

The other extra tax form for expats is the FBAR (Foreign Bank and Financial Accounts).  You can thank the Department of Treasury (not IRS) for this one.

The FBAR requires you to list your foreign bank accounts (and report the highest balance you had over the year).  I have filled out the FBAR for many years and I’ll never stop, because I’ll always have foreign bank accounts.  Thankfully, the FBAR is actually relatively easy. The last good reason is, over the past few years, the Dept of Treasury has gone crazy in prosecuting non-complying expats.  (Remember the idea of hiding money in a Swiss bank account?  Not any more)

If you’ve never heard of the FBAR and you’re considering filing it, read this article here.

The tax filing deadline for US citizens living abroad is June 15th (postmarked as mailed out).  For the FBAR form, the deadline is June 30th (must be received by).

Anyway, I’ve been sitting on this post for a while and I’ve got to publish it.  I wish you all a Happy 4th of July, wherever you are.
If you’re in the US, celebrate your home’s independence.  If you’re outside the US, celebrate your own independence!

If you’re looking for other popular reasons people leave the US, read up on Frustration, Adventure and Seeking an Improved Life.

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Reason 3: Seeking Improved Life

We already covered two reasons for leaving the USA already: Frustration and Seeking Adventure.  Now, we talk about those of us just wanting a better life.  And that about covers everyone.

“Hey, Jeff, that’s vague, what exactly is “a better life’?“  How about a better standard of living.

Does that mean better healthcare?  More personal liberties?  Lower cost of living? YES, all the above.

So, I mean health, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

Problem to Fix: Healthcare

I’ll make this short.  Healthcare will not improve in the US for your or your kids’ lifetime.  Sorry it’s a short, sad conclusion.  If this is important to you, move.

Okay, I’ll give my disclaimer.  I don’t know the future, but I do know it would take a revolution to undo the death grip on the healthcare system by the private healthcare industry.  They won’t let go for as long as there’s money to be made (and shared with legislators and lobbyists).  Doctors understand this, but they have no say in how it’s run.  And as baby boomers come of old age, health care providers are providing less health and more bills.  Prepare to pay more, or move.

Need an example?  Look no further than the notorious Johnny B Truant.  Johnny’s a Type 1 diabetic and has blogged about it several times, how he overcomes it with great health (though it hindered his 30-day no-carb diet trial).  Healthy lifestyle or not, his insurance premium keeps skyrocketing.  Well, that changed – Johnny quit his health insurance! Johnny said, and I quote, “Fuck this. I’m jumping over the walls to get that carrot.” (you have to read his cute story to get the carrot bit)  I applaud the guy – he broke the rule of “Everyone NEEDS insurance.” and is now saving himself a grand a month.  Nice work JBT.

Problem to Fix: Personal Liberties

Are you a Ron Paul fan?  Keep up with the (ever fun but educational) blog of the Lugwig von Mises Institute?  If so, label yourself a Libertarian.  But you knew that already.

Why do I bring up Ron Paul?  I was at a meetup just last Wednesday.  The organizer casually gave his view on government: “I believe we need only two laws: Protect our own property and protect our liberties.”  I smiled and asked if he’s a Ron Paul fan.  He smiled back.  The organizer echoed the classic tenets that define libertarianism.

Are people leaving the US because of eroding personal liberties?  I doubt it’s the sole or even their main reason.  But I do agree that personal liberties as a whole are eroding away at a faster clip than ever before.  And that pushes more people to think about leaving.

[Here is where my wife steps in and says "Well, don't just mope about it - do something!"]

If you ‘re upset (too), sign this petition to create (actual) change.

If you’re pessimistic (too) that things will change, then leave the US for a country which provides stronger liberties to its population (foreign or native).  As for the US changing for the better, I am hopeful, but it’s going to take a revolution.

The top countries are:

1. Sweden (why am I not surprised?)
2. Finland
3. Denmark
4. New Zealand
5. Norway
6. Netherlands
7. Switzerland
8. Canada
9. Ireland
10. Australia

The US came in between the UK and Estonia.  Here is my source table.  For my list, I used their scoring, plus a bit of my own bias to reformat as a numbered list.

Some last words about personal or civil liberties.  Some liberties may be more important than others.  For you, it may your right to practice a religion, women’s rights, or racial equality.  For me, I focus more on personal privacy of information.  I don’t mind someone looking up my phone number, but I do mind when someone (without my consent) listens to a phone conversation or predetermines my chance for a disease. But that’s me… how do you feel about it?  Leave a comment.

Problem to Fix: Cost of Living

Relying on a pension isn’t what it used to be.  And today, does anyone stay with a company long enough to earn a pension?

Thankfully, a mediocre pension cheque in the United States isn’t so mediocre in many other countries.  Same goes for that meagre social security if you’re a senior, or the humble rent profit if you’re a landlord, or the dividends if you’re an investor, or even a passive income from some online business.  In all cases, the amount goes farther if you spend it in a country that costs less.  (The better case is if you’re earning in that country, rather than exchanging from the declining dollar, but that’s another story.)

Thinking of leaving the country because of your taxable portfolio?  Well, leave now while the going’s good, because there’s likely to be legislation that may follow you abroad.

Next Up: Patriotism

Stay tuned for the next (#4 – “Patriotism”) reason why people leave the United States.  There are over 5 million of us abroad – why not you?

Until then, I ask you just one favour.  If you like this post or the others, hit the Facebook Like button below and share it with your friends.

Thanks,

-Jeff

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In case you missed it, this is Part 2 of a series of why people are leaving (as they run the f*** away from) the US.  Part I is here.

Reason 2: Adventure

When I say “adventure” you might picture backpackers. Or maybe the young, single crowd, no-responsibilities type.  No.  At least, that’s not how I label me and my wife.

How about sleepwalkers?  That’s how I label us.  I and my wife are classic sleepwalkers through life.  Or at least we’re prone to be if we’re not careful about it.  And I believe if you’re reading this blog, you might be too.

Who’s a Life Sleepwalker?

Like I just said above, we are.  We all are.  Is it human nature?  We get more settled, more stuff, more routine.  Cruise control sets in and we sleepwalk through life.

A few weeks ago, a new friend, Vernon wrote in to me.  He asked about our reasons for travel.  I mentioned we once lived in Korea (mid 90′s) but then moved to the States.  He asked “Why did you leave the States after having spent time in Korea?”  I’m guessing Vernon half-expected we left because we were frustrated with the US.

Nope, not frustrated, except with ourselves.  We longed for adventure.  My then girlfriend and I came from Korea and decided to live together and find work in beautiful New Hampshire.  After a few years, we got married.  Then we got a house.  Then we had a baby.  Slowly, over about 10 years, we went from Korea to absolutely rooted.  We were lulled to sweet slumber.

Bored or Sleepwalking?

Are you bored or sleepwalking?  There’s a difference.

Bored is when you’re lacking stimulation.  You need a hobby or passion.  Note: careful not to confuse boredom with procrastination.  That’s self-inflicted resistance against what’s important and is only posing as boredom.  (When I blow 2 hours on Digg, I realize I’m procrastinating)

Sleepwalking is when you’re lacking uncertainty or adventure.  You need to take a step (or tw0) out of your comfort zone.
Sleepwalkers aren’t just in their comfort zone, they’re spinning around in there like a toy top.

When life seems like it’s moving “fast enough for us,” — then you might be sleepwalking.

When you feel busy, yet your to-do list is all urgent but not important — then you might be sleepwalking.

If in 5 years you won’t remember what you did today, last week or last year — you’re probably sleepwalking.

Trust me – the months/years will drop away like you wouldn’t believe.  Do something that spooks you awake.

Problems to Fix: Boredom and “Sleepwalking”

Bored?  Swallow the frog!

If only bored, fine, seek out a hobby.  Or tackle your to-do list with fervour. See “Swallow the frog”

Sleepwalking?  Three Questions

If you suspect you’re sleepwalking, ask yourself these 3 questions:

1. Is my life “comfortable” but not giving me comfort or peace of mind?

• If you answer ‘yes’ – you just might be sleepwalking

2. Do I find that the days (weeks, months) seem to be the same?

• If so, you may be sleepwalking (or actually sleeping in a coma)

3. Do you have a vision of how life will be better in 5 years from now?

• If not sleepwalking, life can be better when taking aim at something.

Like I said above, we had it all: the house, the careers, a solid network of great friends, and the infant (and even a cat).  We were so “set” we felt we were almost sleepwalking.  That thought made us miserable (okay, maybe that’s dramatic, but you get the idea).

How did we fix it? We spun the globe, picked 3 cities.  Three cities we hadn’t seen before but were curious about:  Auckland, Barcelona and Prague.  I sent out CVs to recruiters in each.  We sold the house, quit our jobs and put all our crap in storage.
In 3 months, we were living in Prague.

Would we do it again?  We did.  Fast forward 4 years.  We find ourselves owning another house (our flat in downtown Prague) and we popped another child.  (What can we say?  Our house-warming parties are super fertile!)

Then, come summer 2010  - we’re here in Nova Scotia, Canada.

Adventure is the primary reason my wife and I had left the U.S. for Prague in 2006, and we are NOT your stereotypical backpackers.  In short, adventure drives people of all ages, all kinds, and all sizes, to make what seems to others some rash decisions.  And when you’re sick of the status quo, you do whatever needs to be done.

Want to do a final test?  ”Pinch yourself.”

That’s how we wake ourselves when sleeping, right?  Then “pinch yourself” awake from sleepwalking by stepping well outside your comfort zone.  Take a Leap of Faith and Scare Yourself Silly.

Some Ideas How to Pinch Yourself Awake:

• At work, organize and present a topic completely unrelated to work. (think Toastmasters)
• Try a new sport – take up running, skateboarding, swimming.  Less experience, the better
• Get a major adrenaline rush – do a bungee jump, skydive, tell a Baptist to go to hell (testing if you’re still with me)
• Contribute to the community – volunteer as a pollster, in a food kitchen, read books at a daycare
• Take up an instrument – you’re not getting any younger….go ahead, dust off the guitar
• Move abroad.  (oh, you knew I had to add this one, right?)

Hope this has been helpful.  If you have any comments or thoughts for me – leave a comment below.  I look forward to hearing from you.

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Frustration leads people to make uncomfortable decisions, such as “abandoning their own country” for another.  Ah, there’s the popular debate of whether I’m being patriotic.  But I’ll leave that for another post in this series.

For now, I ask this question: is it better to stick around in a bad situation, or to make the tough decisions to do what you know is best for you, for your quality of life?  Wait for the next post.

Are you Frustrated?  Becoming an expat yourself gives you Encouragement

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Christine Gilbert of Almostfearless.com published a guide book and I got the privilege to review it. Consider yourself lucky, too, since by getting to hear about it from me, you can make a more informed decision to buy it.

Too little time to read all below?  Read my 20 word review:

“The Visa Book” is a great reference for the traveler on the go.  Simple, single-purpose structure.  Comprehensive coverage.  Worth the $10.

A Full Review of “The Visa Book”

Here is Christine’s skinny on her newest book:

And My Feedback:

• pages are well laid out; 1 page = 1 country/territory
• a single-purpose, no frills structure
• little of Christine’s fun personality – the “Visa Book” is all business
• can’t imagine a place in the world that’s not covered here
• greatest value: for tourists en-route wanting to quickly compare, offline

Who the Visa Book is Not For

I believe the newbie American tourist traveling to their first country in their life would simply google for needed information on the US State Department.

That said, most anyone would at least verify what “The Visa Book” says, but Christine makes that ultra easy with direct links to do so.

Also, the book isn’t for people looking to answer “How do I work in XYZ country?”  This is for tourist visas, not work permits or residency visas.

Where the Visa Book Shines

Where this book really shines is as a quick, comparative reference that’s already handily on the traveler’s laptop, smartphone or any e-reader for PDFs.

For travellers already on the go, perhaps in between destinations, this book provides fast “how about XYZ country?” answers.  It’s a sweet no-frills reference book that way.

I randomly picked a few countries for the tourist visa information.  I picked Canada, Chile and Croatia.  Sure enough, Christine lays out the essential information, then provides easy links to verify it.

Not only could I read up on these 3 countries on their respective, dedicated full info page, but in an earlier section “The Quick Country-by-Country Guide”, I see and compare my trifecta and all other countries together.  It’s beautiful.

All told, this guide is handy.  At $10, it’s also cheaply priced.  Granted, there’s not a lot of information per country, but that’s not its purpose. This guide answers only a few questions (for every country in the world):

1. Do I need a visa?
2. How many days am I allowed to stay?
3. Any cost to visiting?

Yeah, the guide is well, well worth it.  Even if you don’t travel, if you want a fast PDF-portal to every country’s visa information, pick this guide up at Christine’s site. (book will be released April 5th 2011, but sign up for an alert)

Note: Christine offers other bloggers an “affiliate” commission for reviewing and linking to this book.  However, I turned it down, since she so clearly deserves the entire but meagre $10 sale.

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So, I went out drinking last night.  Normally not a big deal, but I’ll admit that since becoming a stay-at-home dad, my energy level lacks luster by 8pm instead of holding out until midnight or more.  But last night was special.  Last night I was out until past 11pm.  {oooooh!}

Last night I got to share a few beers with Chris Guillebeau, an online hero of mine.

Chris Guillebeau In Town

Yesterday Chris was here in Halifax on his cross-continent book tour.   At a local Chapters bookstore, he spoke to 20-25 of us for a half hour, then opened it up for “questions and attempted answers.”  Then the group mingled amongst ourselves for more sharing and chat.

Chris briefly gave his history, then highlighted about being unconventional and finding answers to the 2 all important questions (see the manifesto to learn those 2 questions).  He spoke of “selfish generosity,” meaning we find ways to contribute to the betterment of others, while we in turn benefit ourselves, a natural win-win.  He also touched on how privileged we all are to be able to choose our path, make choices such as volunteer work, blogging, creative outlets or the conventional 9-5 desk job.  I think that point is especially important, considering just how fortunate a person is with one opportunity.  Beyond the millions of people without clean water or sanitation, there are millions more that have no choice but to exist and die – their lot in life.  And then there is all of us, folks with so many choices, we’re easily blinded by overwhelm.  So, we all know having choices but not considering them is more sad than not really having a choice at all.

Beer Therapy

So, of the 25 or so people, about 12 continued out for a beer.  That’s where the real clarity happened.  It was like a group therapy meeting for the dissatisfied and life-hungry minority.  Over just a few beers, we all talked and helped each other a lot.  Having the face-t0-face time was truly awesome.  There was a passionate interest and immediate feedback that’s not possible over e-mail, twitter or skype.  It was real rewarding to me and I can say that the brief couple hours shared with Chris and the others will help this blog (and you!) for a long time to come.  I look forward to making changes (big and small) over the weeks ahead.

Note: to anyone having a beer with Chris in the future, he chose our local Garrison Red, saying he enjoys the reds.

Unconventional Thinking and Pursuit

Chris’ book is not for everyone.  Like the back cover says, “If you’ve ever thought, ‘There must be more to life than this,’ The Art of Non-Conformity is for you.”

If you haven’t thought that, then don’t waste your or the book’s time (refer to the blue pill).  Pass the book onto someone else if gifted.

There are 4 prerequisite assumptions before you can confidently say the book is for you (as stated in the book):

• You must be open to new ideas.
• You must be dissatisfied with the status quo.
• You must be willing to take personal responsibility.
• You must be willing to work hard.

Of course, these are well expanded on, but you get the message.  In short, life’s happiness is not for the lazy or the timid.

Well, that’s it for me today.  I’ve got some work to do.

For now, if you want a further and immediate look at what Chris offers, check out his online, downloadable stuff – much of it for free.

Yours,

-Jeff

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Last week I said out loud that I’m feeling homesick because on December 5th was the holiday “Mikulas” in the CzechRepublic.  My five and a half year old daughter remembers celebrating it last year and I wish I could have taken her this year.

Wait…”homesick?” — what the hell am I’m thinking calling Czech Republic “home!” Should I?  Shouldn’t I?

I’m confused….so I’m writing this post.

Where Is My Home?

I could do research.  I could read other people’s blogs.  I could analyze my feelings.  But deep down, I know what I’m feeling.  I’m feeling homesick for my last home – Prague, Czech Republic.

BUT – I’m not Czech.  And I only lived there 4 years.  Hell, toward the end, I wasn’t even enjoying life (at least the job part).

So, why am I homesick today?  Truth is, I have no freakin’ idea.  Any comments or help from you is greatly appreciated.  But I know I miss it there, especially when I look out the window of my current life.  Guess I’m still heavily in some transition phase.

What Makes a Place Home?

I’m racking my brain trying to think why I have homesickness for a place I met just less than 5 years ago.  I’m racking my brain trying to understand what makes a place “home.” Questions to ask – answers tell us what’s “home.”

1. Where am I living today?
2. Where did I spent the majority of the last 5 years?
3. Where did I grow up?

Now, here is where I am truly f*cked.  I get three different answers for those three different questions:  1=Canada  2= Czech Republic  3=US

Let’s try again.

1. Where am I living today?
2. Where did I spent the majority of the last 5 years?
3. Where did I grow up?
4. Where does my native land’s tax authority (IRS?) consider as my home address?
5. Where are the majority of my friends?
6. Where is the majority of my family?
7. Where do I have any assets (income property, businesses, savings) ?
8. Where is my “banking” done?
9. If I’m feeling homesickness, where would I go to fix it?
10. If I’m feeling culture shock where’s the “normal” place?

Okay — that’s a more complete list.  Still, for me, “home” is split between 3 places (US, Canada, Czech Republic), and not so evenly.  In fact, it’s Canada x3, Czech Republic x6, and US x3.  (some questions got multiple answers)

Your Turn

Where is home to you?  Where are you answers for 1-10?  What am I missing?  I really want to know.

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If you’re a first time reader, a quick, 50-word preface:

I’m an American married to an Canadian.  We moved to Halifax, Canada this summer from our last home in Prague, Czech Republic.  So, we come here as new residents: one citizen and one on “visitor status.”

So, Here I Am, an American in Canada

Against common myth, Americans are not freely welcome in Canada.  Sure, we can come to visit, -but not to stay.  Americans: Canada is not your 51st state. (That’s worth repeating, but I won’t).

So, Here I Am, on Visitor Status

Visitor status -that’s what you get when you come to Canada and have no legal grounds to stay.  For Americans, visitor status lasts 6 months.  That 6 months puts me as valid until December 24th.  Then I’m free to leave.  In fact, I’m told to leave.  All but escort my ass over the border – thanks.  Have a nice day, eh?

If I seem gruff, it’s a tinge of bitterness.  I’m married to a native-born Canadian and we have two kids, foreign born with Canadian citizenship.  (By the way, yes, there is a difference between native and foreign born Canadians.)  So, in my family, I’m feeling as much Canadian as American.

So, Here I Am, in Front of Immigration

When we arrived at Halifax airport late last June, we were sweating bullets.  Over the flight (and often prior) we went over our “stories,” our angle, planning and rehearsing answers to any question.

We expected to be questioned on our intentions and we expected a little grilling.  I had no reason to demand “I’m living here now” and it’s unreasonable to believe “Sure, my Canadian family is moving here, but I’m soon returning to Prague.”

One thing for sure we knew: Immigration is not our friend.

And we were right. Immigration can be that nosey but otherwise harmless neighbour.  Immigration can be the crotchety bureaucrat that can’t seem to do their job twice the same way.  And they can be the power-tripping, asshole cop who’s wife is cheating on them while they pull a double-shift and they just caught you doing 110 in a 50.  But they are not your friend.

I Filed my Residency Paperwork

First, we saw an immigration lawyer.  Well worth the $275 – he answered questions we didn’t know we had.

Second, we decided on the path to take – as a spouse.

Next we filled in documents and gathered our supporting evidence: certificates, criminal background checks and financial statements.  I got the photos.  I did my medical examination.

It’s all footwork that we expected.  We went through the same drill in the US for my wife who successfully got her US citizenship.  Still, experience doesn’t make immigration paperwork any fun, nor prepare you for the idiocy that comes at every turn (or counter).

And, Here I Am. …Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock.

So we file my application.  I just checked on the status last week.  Thankfully they received it.  Of course I know the application package arrived; I sent it by FedEx.  But arrived doesn’t immediately mean “received” in the system.  The nice lady confirmed “Probably be another 7-8 months before the reviewers get to yours.”  Great.

Meanwhile, tick, tock, tick, tock.  My visitor status expiry looms and I was told to extend it as soon as possible.  But how?

We look online -there’s an immigration office downtown Halifax.  Great!

I arrange babysitting and go downtown to the CIC office: “Sorry, can’t help you – by appointment only. Call this number.”

I step outside the office & call the number: “Sorry, but all agents are busy right now…please try your call again on our less busy days, Thursday and Friday.”  Great.

I call on Thursday.  An agent answers.  After my “elevator speech explanation” to immigration officers, she offers “Sorry, but can’t help you.”

For the love of god, how is it a freakin’ Czech post office can have better customer service than any country’s immigration office?

Well, considerable investigation later – I find out I can extend my stay online.  Most unbelievable to me is no one was able to say that.

Who knew their website has so much processing available all online?  Certainly not Canadian immigration officers.

So, Here I Am, on Extended Visitor Status

All’s well that ends well.  And we patiently wait the 7-8 months for my permanency residence application to be reviewed.  Since 7 is more than 6, I guess I’ll be extending my visitor status again next summer.  At least I’ll know what to do.

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The “Less Is More” Edition of Christmas Shopping

In a previous post, we talked about shopping online.  Shopping online lets us buy & deliver straight to the recipient’s door.  And that’s the greatest thing since sliced bread for expats.  No sky-high postage, no language struggles at the post office and delivery time is days, not weeks.

However, for some people buying anything can be a downer because, a gift means just another thing to own, shelf and eventually get rid of.  So, let’s talk about options.

Alternative Ideas to Giving a Gift

Instead of giving a gift you wrap up and send, let’s talk about giving the “gift of giving”:

• Lessons, memberships
• Giving a Donation to Charity in Someone’s Name
• Giving Yourself
• “Buy-Nothing” Christmas (typically within family)

Before you say “Yeah, but this wouldn’t work with Mr. Sowenso,” think again. Mr. and Mrs. Sowenso are just like everyone else…they have their own illnesses, their own personal challenges and dramas (no family is flawless).  When you donate to a worthy cause, perhaps even one that they already donate to themselves, the Sowenso’s will greatly appreciate such a personal gesture.

Idea #1: Lessons & Memberships

It doesn’t fit in a box, but it is super personal and useful.

Swimming lessons, gymnastic lessons, a membership to an online book club, it’s something the person wants, but -hey, you bought it for them!

This year (Christmas 2010), my parents and my wife’s parents are planning together to buy us a family membership at the city gym. That membership will serve us (family of 4) all year. Then my wife’s sister, upon hearing the membership news, offered to buy our daughter two months of swimming lessons at the same gym.   This gift will give me and the kids more to do during the week and will give us a fun way to stay in shape.  Now that’s a gift that keeps giving!

Idea #2: Giving a Donation to Charity in Someone’s Name

A gift you hear about, but rarely do.  Why?  Because society says if you don’t walk a mall like a credit-card-toting zombie for 3 hours, you’re not patriotic.  …well, perhaps that’s an overstatement.

Look -there are big benefits to donating to a charity in someone’s name.  These benefits do not exist when you buy them the newest kitchen appliance as seen on TV.  Benefits that outweigh any particular item on a shelf.

Benefits include:

• You feel good
• Mr/Mrs Sowenso feels good
• A good cause is further supported
• Less stuff accumulating in closets, on shelves, in drawers
• Lastly, a tax write-off (for Mr/Mrs Sowenso)

On a personal note, my wife and I tried this approach for Christmas 2009.  We were so inspired after reading “Three Cups of Tea” by Greg Mortenson, we shipped a copy of the book to our family and close friends.  Along with the book, we also made donations in each person’s name to the Central Asia Institute.  Toward the end of January, I also sent a reminder to everyone with their respective confirmation of a donation so they could make use of it when filing taxes.

Idea #3: Giving Yourself

Now here’s an interesting slant.  You don’t give a wrapped gift, money nor a tax write-off.

You give the most personal gift of all: You.

This means you tell your friend that  you will perform some job for them, no questions asked. Perhaps you fix their broken gutter, walk their dog for them for a month, babysit their kids, make a special supper, other house repairs, etc.

Benefits include:

• You feel good
• Mr/Mrs Sowenso feels good
• Stuff gets done

Giving yourself takes finesse.  Of course, any gift should be given with sincerity, but giving yourself takes some extra finesse to show it’s sincere.

Tips for Successfully Giving Yourself:

• Handwrite a note saying this is their Christmas gift and you’re happy to do it
• Schedule a date. You do the scheduling because it’s your gift to them
• Know all the details before doing the job.  The only worse gift than a job undone is a job done wrong
• If at all possible, carry out the job without the person’s intervention or help

While I love this idea, I find it a real challenge.  Mostly because I’m not sure I have a lot to offer.  I’m not particularly handy or mechanical.  I’m an decent baker (a lot of practice), but my only real “talent” is technical, computer stuff.  I could design a blog or make brownies for Christmas, but it’s tough picturing those as gifts.  What do you think?

In short, giving yourself takes creativity.  And it takes a skill which you can share and others will find valuable.

Idea #4: “Buy-Nothing” Christmas

So, a “buy-nothing” Christmas means what the name suggests: you buy nothing. In fact, the whole family, the group of you decide to buy nothing.

This one is difficult.  I don’t know of a family who successfully pulled this off.  If you do, send me an e-mail or post a comment.  I find the idea amazing, but ….too difficult, at least with my family.  Already my wife and I struggle with my parents spending waaay too much on our kids, despite our protests every year.  (And yes, we’ve talked about it, to the point of tears shed…what to do?)

So a buy-nothing Christmas doesn’t mean a spend-nothing Christmas.  Instead, you all redirect the gift-budget toward something else.  This requires the group to decide before Christmas together “Who’s in?” and “What are we spending on?”

Here are some ideas how to pool your money together:

• The group takes a trip together
• A group charitable contribution (perhaps with some PR, inspiring others to fundraise
• The group organizes together at the local food kitchen, shelter or orphanage.
• You all say “Screw it- no gifts at all this year!” (might as well shout “Bah humbug,” too)

Personally, I think the idea kicks ass.  I like it because instead of having one person sponsoring a good cause, you have a whole family helping a good cause (well, except for the group cruise idea).  It’s committed love on a grand scale.  But again, I find it a tough leap from idea to implementation.

What makes this idea difficult is every family has a member who struggles to not give a gift.  That person decides “But I’ll just give one teeny-weeny gift to Mrs. Sowenso.”  Then, the recipient is left feeling awkward: “Oh, but I don’t have a gift for you because…” and it’s just an awkward feeling festival.  To avoid 100% failure, everyone must be 100% committed.

Tips for Successful Buy-Nothing Christmas

• If necessary, do a small gift (like $5 or less) exchange.  Beware: slippery slope ahead
• “Market” it as a budding family tradition.  Thus, more motivation to stick to the plan
• If one person is destined to fail, exclude them from the group

Summing Up

It’s not easy to replace traditional gift-giving.  But your time, your money and yourself are gifts with more meaning, more heart and more…”Christmas cheer” than the newest gadget or game.  And once you do it one year, it will be difficult to switch back the next year.

Photo credits: (me -my son), Nico Yeo, Nader Makki, Southen, Philip Klinger

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