“Oh Fac” rhymes with “Oh Tack”  That’s how you pronounce the acronym OFAC, or the Office of Foreign Asset Control.

OFAC is the US Treasury Department’s special branch to answer “Who’s Your (Terrorist) Daddy?”  The OFAC has just published their most recent list of terrorists.  (Sorry, suspected terrorists; it’s easy to get caught up in the Salem-esque witch hunt fervour.)  In their 522-page report (yes, over five hundred pages, in very small print), they list the names, aliases and other associated infobits like passport numbers or birthplaces.

Take Mr. Khalfan here.  He’s got about a dozen aliases, birthdays and even the cutest nickname I’ve seen in a long time, Foopie.  Now, while Foopie was born in the same place as rock legend Freddie Mercury — Zanzibar, Tanzania, that’s all that Foopie and Freddie share in common.

NOTE: Don’t go searching to find your name – it’s not here.  It’s not on this list.  With proper emphasis, it’s not on this list.

No, this is the list of foreign terrorists (hence the “F” in OFAC), not suspected Americans.  Let me know if you find the list with a “Parker” or “Smith” in it.

What do you think of all this?

No related posts.

In case you missed it, this is Part 2 of a series of why people are leaving (as they run the f*** away from) the US.  Part I is here.

Reason 2: Adventure

When I say “adventure” you might picture backpackers. Or maybe the young, single crowd, no-responsibilities type.  No.  At least, that’s not how I label me and my wife.

How about sleepwalkers?  That’s how I label us.  I and my wife are classic sleepwalkers through life.  Or at least we’re prone to be if we’re not careful about it.  And I believe if you’re reading this blog, you might be too.

Who’s a Life Sleepwalker?

Like I just said above, we are.  We all are.  Is it human nature?  We get more settled, more stuff, more routine.  Cruise control sets in and we sleepwalk through life.

A few weeks ago, a new friend, Vernon wrote in to me.  He asked about our reasons for travel.  I mentioned we once lived in Korea (mid 90′s) but then moved to the States.  He asked “Why did you leave the States after having spent time in Korea?”  I’m guessing Vernon half-expected we left because we were frustrated with the US.

Nope, not frustrated, except with ourselves.  We longed for adventure.  My then girlfriend and I came from Korea and decided to live together and find work in beautiful New Hampshire.  After a few years, we got married.  Then we got a house.  Then we had a baby.  Slowly, over about 10 years, we went from Korea to absolutely rooted.  We were lulled to sweet slumber.

Bored or Sleepwalking?

Are you bored or sleepwalking?  There’s a difference.

Bored is when you’re lacking stimulation.  You need a hobby or passion.  Note: careful not to confuse boredom with procrastination.  That’s self-inflicted resistance against what’s important and is only posing as boredom.  (When I blow 2 hours on Digg, I realize I’m procrastinating)

Sleepwalking is when you’re lacking uncertainty or adventure.  You need to take a step (or tw0) out of your comfort zone.
Sleepwalkers aren’t just in their comfort zone, they’re spinning around in there like a toy top.

When life seems like it’s moving “fast enough for us,” — then you might be sleepwalking.

When you feel busy, yet your to-do list is all urgent but not important — then you might be sleepwalking.

If in 5 years you won’t remember what you did today, last week or last year — you’re probably sleepwalking.

Trust me – the months/years will drop away like you wouldn’t believe.  Do something that spooks you awake.

Problems to Fix: Boredom and “Sleepwalking”

Bored?  Swallow the frog!

If only bored, fine, seek out a hobby.  Or tackle your to-do list with fervour. See “Swallow the frog”

Sleepwalking?  Three Questions

If you suspect you’re sleepwalking, ask yourself these 3 questions:

1. Is my life “comfortable” but not giving me comfort or peace of mind?

• If you answer ‘yes’ – you just might be sleepwalking

2. Do I find that the days (weeks, months) seem to be the same?

• If so, you may be sleepwalking (or actually sleeping in a coma)

3. Do you have a vision of how life will be better in 5 years from now?

• If not sleepwalking, life can be better when taking aim at something.

Like I said above, we had it all: the house, the careers, a solid network of great friends, and the infant (and even a cat).  We were so “set” we felt we were almost sleepwalking.  That thought made us miserable (okay, maybe that’s dramatic, but you get the idea).

How did we fix it? We spun the globe, picked 3 cities.  Three cities we hadn’t seen before but were curious about:  Auckland, Barcelona and Prague.  I sent out CVs to recruiters in each.  We sold the house, quit our jobs and put all our crap in storage.
In 3 months, we were living in Prague.

Would we do it again?  We did.  Fast forward 4 years.  We find ourselves owning another house (our flat in downtown Prague) and we popped another child.  (What can we say?  Our house-warming parties are super fertile!)

Then, come summer 2010  - we’re here in Nova Scotia, Canada.

Adventure is the primary reason my wife and I had left the U.S. for Prague in 2006, and we are NOT your stereotypical backpackers.  In short, adventure drives people of all ages, all kinds, and all sizes, to make what seems to others some rash decisions.  And when you’re sick of the status quo, you do whatever needs to be done.

Want to do a final test?  ”Pinch yourself.”

That’s how we wake ourselves when sleeping, right?  Then “pinch yourself” awake from sleepwalking by stepping well outside your comfort zone.  Take a Leap of Faith and Scare Yourself Silly.

Some Ideas How to Pinch Yourself Awake:

• At work, organize and present a topic completely unrelated to work. (think Toastmasters)
• Try a new sport – take up running, skateboarding, swimming.  Less experience, the better
• Get a major adrenaline rush – do a bungee jump, skydive, tell a Baptist to go to hell (testing if you’re still with me)
• Contribute to the community – volunteer as a pollster, in a food kitchen, read books at a daycare
• Take up an instrument – you’re not getting any younger….go ahead, dust off the guitar
• Move abroad.  (oh, you knew I had to add this one, right?)

Hope this has been helpful.  If you have any comments or thoughts for me – leave a comment below.  I look forward to hearing from you.

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Frustration leads people to make uncomfortable decisions, such as “abandoning their own country” for another.  Ah, there’s the popular debate of whether I’m being patriotic.  But I’ll leave that for another post in this series.

For now, I ask this question: is it better to stick around in a bad situation, or to make the tough decisions to do what you know is best for you, for your quality of life?  Wait for the next post.

Are you Frustrated?  Becoming an expat yourself gives you Encouragement

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Last week I said out loud that I’m feeling homesick because on December 5th was the holiday “Mikulas” in the CzechRepublic.  My five and a half year old daughter remembers celebrating it last year and I wish I could have taken her this year.

Wait…”homesick?” — what the hell am I’m thinking calling Czech Republic “home!” Should I?  Shouldn’t I?

I’m confused….so I’m writing this post.

Where Is My Home?

I could do research.  I could read other people’s blogs.  I could analyze my feelings.  But deep down, I know what I’m feeling.  I’m feeling homesick for my last home – Prague, Czech Republic.

BUT – I’m not Czech.  And I only lived there 4 years.  Hell, toward the end, I wasn’t even enjoying life (at least the job part).

So, why am I homesick today?  Truth is, I have no freakin’ idea.  Any comments or help from you is greatly appreciated.  But I know I miss it there, especially when I look out the window of my current life.  Guess I’m still heavily in some transition phase.

What Makes a Place Home?

I’m racking my brain trying to think why I have homesickness for a place I met just less than 5 years ago.  I’m racking my brain trying to understand what makes a place “home.” Questions to ask – answers tell us what’s “home.”

1. Where am I living today?
2. Where did I spent the majority of the last 5 years?
3. Where did I grow up?

Now, here is where I am truly f*cked.  I get three different answers for those three different questions:  1=Canada  2= Czech Republic  3=US

Let’s try again.

1. Where am I living today?
2. Where did I spent the majority of the last 5 years?
3. Where did I grow up?
4. Where does my native land’s tax authority (IRS?) consider as my home address?
5. Where are the majority of my friends?
6. Where is the majority of my family?
7. Where do I have any assets (income property, businesses, savings) ?
8. Where is my “banking” done?
9. If I’m feeling homesickness, where would I go to fix it?
10. If I’m feeling culture shock where’s the “normal” place?

Okay — that’s a more complete list.  Still, for me, “home” is split between 3 places (US, Canada, Czech Republic), and not so evenly.  In fact, it’s Canada x3, Czech Republic x6, and US x3.  (some questions got multiple answers)

Your Turn

Where is home to you?  Where are you answers for 1-10?  What am I missing?  I really want to know.

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Just a little video to remind you, when travelling, to pay attention to those little details.

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I’m used to Prague already. I’m not “done” with it, not by any stretch.

But I realize that I am used to Prague.
How did I realize that? I spent this past weekend in Berlin, Germany. And it was great.

Why was it great? First, because I spent it with my family, plus another couple of friends and their kids. All good stuff. But for us all, Berlin was great, because it was a change.
We returned to Prague and the elation was gone. (Except for our collective 4 small kids who were pretty damned ready for bed)

Forget food, clothing, and shelter. What we need is change.
[quote]

For me, CHANGE is:
- the single biggest time-slower
- the single most effective catalyst to appreciate what we got
- the single harshest reality slap

Change is a time-slower, because it forces you stop and focus. With change, auto-pilot gets turned off and you grab the controls. You ask yourself more questions (or you begin asking any questions).

Change helps you appreciate what you got. Depending on the change, maybe you more appreciate what you had; maybe you more appreciate the gain.
In either case, you and I both usually take that change and make it for the better.

And change can be a reality slap. I think we both know this reality slap in one form or another.

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What the hell?!? What are you doing? Why haven’t you done something about it already?
Yes, I’m talking to you! Dammit, man – pay attention!

Pull your seat a little closer, sit up straight, close your gaping mouth and listen.
Really. Focus. Pay attention…

You’re sitting there, behind your desk, in front of your computer screen. It’s Tuesday today, but that isn’t really important. It could be Monday, it could be Wednesday, it could be any work day of the week.

This week, next week, next month. It’s all the same. Same desk, same PC. Same Tuesday. Same, same, same.

Wouldn’t you like a little change in your life?
Couldn’t you use a little change in your life?

I received a comment today. Some guy asking about getting a Czech driving license on my Czech driving license post.
Then it hit me – I haven’t received a comment in a long while.

No one asking “But what about…?” or “How would I…?”
Well, what about you? Why haven’t You written that question?

Am I writing this for my health? No. Sure, writing this blog gives me a smile.
But more importantly, it should be giving you ideas, motivation, the “ah-ha” moment to start a plan, screaming “By God, I’m going to Do It!”.

It’s okay. I see now you need steps. A Step-by-Step plan. Tell me if I’m right or comment below.

Before I dive into creating some all-encompassing how-to guide…let me ask some beginner questions:
1. Do you have a passport?
May seem simple, but it’s important, so I’ll repeat it. Get a passport. Caution: when you hold it in your hand, you may experience a little tingle. It’s normal.

2. Do you have your shit in order?
I mean, no $30,000 credit card debt, no summons in the mailbox, no parole officer hassling you… If none apply, you’re good to go.

3. Are you generally a happy person?
The answer is likely yes. However, if you feel like slicing your wrists after watching a sad TV commercial, then culture shock may not sit well with you. If you are a generally happy person, then you’re good to go.

Can You Do It? – Yes!
Deciding to just pack it all up and experience life elsewhere ….it’s not a hard decision.
It’s a very easy one. The hard part is in doing it.

They did it.
But it can be done. Most recently, just this past weekend, a couple I know (through this blog) did it. (Damn, I can almost hear the Dora the Explorer end theme song: “We Did It – Hooray!”)

Just a few months ago, I got a “What if…?” question from a sweet, young couple from Arizona. Now they live and are teaching in Prague, Czech Republic.
They did it. And so can You.

I look forward to hearing from you.
-Jeff

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My Rating of Snot Suckers – See Bottom

As I write this, both our son and daughter have colds with runny noses. If you’re a parent of toddlers, you know this means chasing your kid around with tissues every other minute.

Or the alternative is a snot sucker. I think the proper title is “nasal aspirator” but snot sucker is more memorable, so I’m using it.   I should trademark it, in case I go into business with my own product -ha!

The 3 Kinds of Snot Suckers in the World

1. Those with a bulb (self explanatory) (“A”)
2. Those with a second tube (“B”)
3. Those that attach to a vacuum cleaner (wait, attach to a what?!?) (“C”)

(Yes, I made this picture myself from an assortment of grabbed images.)

How Snot Suckers Work

Type A:
Squeeze bulb.
Place narrow end in snotty nose.
Release pressure on bulb.
*Slurp* Pretty self-explanatory really.

Type B:
Place one tube in your (parent’s) mouth.
Place other tube in snotty nose.
Suck air from mouth tube. *SlurP*

Type C:
Place sucker tube near snotty nose.
Calm child.
Turn on vacuum for 2-5 seconds (lower power if adjustable).
*SLURP*

Our Experiences

My wife and I only ever heard of the first type when we left the US with our lone 1-year old. Then we moved to Europe. We found the second type and were mildly disgusted by it – but it was pretty effective.  So we used that for a year.

Then our new friends hailed the vacuum-powered snot sucker as the best thing since sliced bread.

Well, we thought “No way – it’ll suck our li’l angel’s brains out!”  However, frustration and a child’s sad eyes help you reconsider anything!  I’m so glad we tried it.

Where to Get Them

Maybe the vacuum-powered snot sucker would not be possible in lawsuit-happy United States. Too bad, their loss.

Trust me, once you go vacuum-powered, you won’t go back. Three years later, we wonder what we ever did without it.

So, let me provide you with quick links on what I see as the Best Model Snot Sucker, in each of the 3 categories I mention above:

A. those with a bulb (best for infants < 3 months)RATING: 3.5 / 5

B. those with a second tube (best for 3 months to a year) RATING: 4 / 5

C. the one & only vacuum powered snot sucker (1 year to adult) RATING: 5 / 5

I have found one online store in Hungary that sells these:

Hungarian Goose Down

However, you may want to order now, before your child gets their next cold.

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A few days ago I read an article called “What Makes an Expat?.”

I really enjoyed it. I liked it so much, I immediately looked up the author, Kathy Hamilton, and asked if I could repost it here for you. I like the article because it’s personal, introspective and it just seemed to resonant with me and how I feel, too.

Here it is:

Thanks in part to online networking sites, I have recently reconnected with many former high school classmates. Once I left high school, I moved away from my hometown in south Texas and lost touch with almost all of my fellow graduates.
A handful of us attended the same university for a while, but did not stay in close contact once we found our own footing in a new, much larger academic world. I kept moving further away from my hometown, drawn to new experiences in unfamiliar cities and countries. To me, it is surprising how many of my classmates felt drawn to stay in the same area, often within a few miles of their parents’ houses.

These friends are comfortable in familiar surroundings. Many have extended family living nearby, and they have kept the same close circle of friends that they had in high school. Some are working in the family business, some have opened their own companies and others work for large corporations. Most seem to have stayed with the same employer for the majority of their working lives. Classmates who I am in contact with are very content with their lives and cannot imagine living far away from family and friends or making drastic changes in their career paths.

I, on the other hand, always knew that I would somehow leave my hometown behind. To me, especially in my high school years, my city seemed too small and suffocating. My family had often traveled abroad while I was growing up, so my brother and I grew up experiencing other cultures firsthand. This was something that the majority of my schoolmates and their families did not do. Is my desire to live elsewhere somehow linked to seeing large parts of the world at a young age?

Reconnecting with former classmates has made me wonder just what it is that makes some people crave the expat life, while others raised in the same community find their place in their own hometown. What is it that makes one person wander the world in search of adventure, new experiences and, possibly, a new home? Why is it that some people prefer staying within close proximity of where they were born and raised, never feeling an inclination to venture outside of their comfort zones?

While I love visits home and the chance to meet up with old friends, I cannot imagine what my life would have been like had I tried to settle down there for good. Even at a young age, I dreamed of traveling the world. When friends and I talked about our goals as teenagers, my hopes tended to be very different from most of theirs. Their plans included university, marriage and children. My goals were simple — to travel to faraway places and write about my life there.

One high school friend recently told me that she always knew I would end up on the other end of the world. Even in school, she said, I had different dreams from the other girls in my class. Not satisfied with simply reading about other cultures and countries, she remembers me planning my travels long before I was able to make my dreams a reality. Even back then, I wanted to live in other countries, instead of merely visiting foreign places on holidays.

My brother lived abroad for two years as a Peace Corps volunteer in the West African country of Niger. After his return to the United States, he did move far away from the south Texas city where we grew up, but he does not feel a great desire to travel the world. He, like many of my former classmates, is content to stay within his own comfort zone.

So, what makes some people want to wander the globe? Are expats restless souls in search of some elusive dream? Granted, there are numerous expats who leave their homelands because of the nature of today’s global business world. Some of these business expats are anxiously awaiting the day when they will be transferred back to their home countries. At the time, they may view the expat life as an inconvenience that must be endured in order to advance in their careers.

I am beginning to suspect that voluntary expats, those who move abroad for their own reasons, are a breed apart. The reasons for adopting the life of an expat are as numerous as expats themselves. Some people move abroad for love, to change careers, to search for adventure, to learn about other cultures or to find a place where they feel they fit in. There are expats who only stay in a country for a limited amount of time before moving on. Then there are expats, like myself, who travel until they find a new place to set down roots and call home.

Friends back in my south Texas hometown have often asked me if I ever plan to move back “home.” Since our lifestyles have been so different, it is almost inconceivable to them that I would feel more at home in a foreign country. There are things I miss about Texas when I am in Turkey, but there are also things I miss about Turkey when I visit Texas. As an expat, I will probably never totally fit into Turkish culture, but the flip side is that after living abroad for so many years, I feel like a bit of an outsider when I am in my own hometown.

So, what it is that makes someone decide to leave their own country and relocate to another land? Maybe it is a restlessness inside of us. Perhaps it is a longing for a place where we can create a new life. There are times, however, when I look at the lives of my friends who stayed put in our hometown and think that it might have been nice to always reside in the same place and have the same circle of friends who have known me since grade school. In reality, though, I really cannot imagine having stayed in my south Texas town. For me, İstanbul has been the home I longed to find.

A few words about Kathy, from Kathy:
A displaced Texan by choice, my first visit to Turkey was in 1981, on the heels of a military coup. In spite of the short-term civil unrest, I continued to return for vacations until finally succumbing to the lure of Istanbul and moving permanently to Istanbul in 1998. My work as a correspondent for one of the national newspapers covers expat lifestyles, culture, food and off the beaten track historic sites. My work has been featured in Hali, Modern Carpets & Textiles, Time Out Istanbul, Rahal Turkey and Taste Anatolia. Personal essays are included in the non-fiction anthologies Tales From the Expat Harem; Mexico: A Love Story; A Woman’s World Again and award-winning Call Me Okaasan:Tales in Multicultural Mothering.

Jeff here again to mention if ever you find yourself shopping in Istanbul’s famous bazaars, it’s better if you go shopping with Kathy.

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I’m not just adventurous in real life (yeah, right), I’m adventurous in website administration.

My dream of helping people live overseas suddenly found a glass ceiling – enough time to answer e-mails.
So, one idea I came up with is to create a forum where people could ask questions (and I still answer them), but future people could see the same questions (& answers!).

A central place for questions. Easy access to (everyone’s) answers. It’s a win-win idea.

I present the world’s newest Expat’s Questions and Answers forum: www.expatyourself.com/forum

You may think it’s light on the questions so far…you’re right. You need to ask them first.

Please post your questions there and I will be very diligent about answering them.

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